Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Chilling at the faster lane

Today, I took a leave of absence from work to rest and to install the uber fast internet at home, Unifi. Although I do not need to pay anything for installation, I had to pay RM 150 since my telephone socket connecting the inside and the outside of my apartment building is not working. Thus the need to connect directly to the main distribution hub. Thus the need to pay the RM 150, since it was not considered as standard installation. Well, so far, I am satisfied with the Unifi service, and enjoying the free preview of all the channels of the Hypp TV, the content can not surpass Astro's in anyway possible.

Later, that evening, exactly at 6, EY called and I immediately suggested that we go for dinner at Sri Niara. Alas, the restaurant was closed so we went to Santai near the cemetery. She wore her I love Roma t-shirt which is sexy to my eyes. We ate and we talked and I told her how my mum knew about her. As a token from my recent visit to Kuching, I gave her some cakes and cookies famous only in Sarawak.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The oven that gets colder

It was after she got back from Europe that I noticed her lack of enthusiasm with me. It seems as if she is annoyed or bored with me. She never wanted to go on a date and cancelled plans last minutes. I can feel it. Perhaps I was being too persistent. Ever since she got back, I tried religiously to make contact with her, asking her out or call her. Perhaps I was being too available to hear. The one time she agreed to go lunch with her, she brought her friend who was always seeking attention from either one of us. It was irritating and annoying altogether.

Later I tried to buy he dinner. She was occupied, either she had someone else buying her dinner or she was too tired to go out at night. At one time, she directly refused my invitation to dinner simply because she do not want to.

At last, we met on Saturday, the 13th of October. It was after she refused to have a photo shoot with me in the morning. It was weird because when we talked on one of the weeknight, she was excited to take convocation shoots wearing the convocation robe around campus and in the studio. However, when the morning came, she simply refused to do so. I had no mood for her. But then she sms saying that her sister and su would like to buy me lunch. I refused at first and continue watching movie on my laptop. I told her I had to go somewhere and busy to have lunch with them. Hours past, but then she sms again asking where I was and insisted that I come to join them saying that it would be hard to assemble everyone together in the future.

I came because I was hungry. I had not had my lunch yet. I took my sweet time to order and eat while they were talking and gossiping since they had finished their meals. Later her sister and su needed to go to catch a movie. She being herself, refused to go to cinema because of her memories with her ex-boyfriend. So I was alone with her, at last, after few small talks, I asked whether she wanted to be my girlfriend. She was stunned and then she said she is not ready. She still can't get over her past relationship. She said if she was a girlfriend to anyone then she would not be independent, she would need to do reporting regularly to her boyfriend. She said she wanted a free and easy life. I said ok and I didn't want to pressure her to do anything she didn't want to do. Later she gave me a t-shirt that she bought in Greece.

The next day, on a Sunday, I met her again, but she brought su with her. We ate some noodle soup, talk like nothing is between us, like normal friends. Since then, I never contact her anymore yet until now. Well, since we are no more than just friend, I should not be calling her too often. Am I not right?

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Twist of events

This morning was meant to be a surprise. But she never arrived. It turned out that she missed the flight because her first flight was delayed. The next flight was supposed to arrive at 1410 but she never called nor picked up my phone. So i decided to move. I didn't want to be caught in the peak hour. Called her before I made my move at 1446 but she didn't pick up, and so I left. But half an hour later she called, she just arrived, her flight I guess my be again delayed. I told her I already left.

Could it be that no matter what, I shouldn't be picking her up? Maybe it was for me to learn that I should wait longer? Or even if I waited longer, something else will happen to prevent me from doing so?

I did not regret, leaving. I was meant to leave. And she was meant to take another means of transport home. It has been decided. Perhaps there is a true meaning in that.

This morning I was hesitant in coming to the airport, but I did came, but to no avail. I drank a cup of coffee waiting for her but then I read on FB that she missed her flight. I was afraid that it was not a good timing to see her. Yeah, number of possibilities pop up in my mind. Firstly, she will be arriving in a group of five. They could easily rent a van to send them all home. If I was there, then they would need to split up because I can take only three. Secondly, they were all very tired. Worst if they were all being oversensitive and thus showing their grim sight. Perhaps I was being protected from seeing her very dark side. So that I will continue to like her. Even so, they will all be sleeping while I am driving. It would be no fun. Thirdly, I was feeling under the weather. I can barely speak. I should be talkative while picking them up, to show that I am excited to have her back home. After all, I miss her. 3 weeks she has been away. If I was quite during the drive, they will be awkward perhaps building up animosity towards me.

It is cool. If it is not today, maybe I will see her tomorrow or eventually whenever Allah permits. When everything is just good enough for us to be bonding closer. If it is not meant to be then it is also fine by me. What I want may not be the best for me. I will let fate decides where it will go from here. Nonetheless, I will make effort to see her, to talk to her, after all, I am the man and I should be making the move. Girls are still girls, they want to be pursued and not pursuing boys especially the girls who are above average.