Saturday, August 07, 2010

The Sparks that should be there but was not

Love the article below that I could not resist to copy and paste from datingish.com. It has put into perspective on a girl I had taken out for two times. Here it goes: (again the credit goes to the aforementioned site - with some adjustments here and there)

I've always complained about not having a girlfriend.
I dated girls in university when romantic gestures included walking her to class, going out to Walmart with her, and letting myself to be with her alone doing assignments. Our conversations never revolve around our feelings but rather our surroundings and homeworks that we were suppose to finish. I was "nice" to few girls but other than that, I've always been the single guy.

I spend way too much time looking for love and falling for the wrong girls. When I like someone, I like them for a long time. It's devastating when I find out they don't like me back. Girls that are interested in me have tried telling me that I shouldn't waste my time on the other girls. They tell me how great I am, ask me to hang out, and text me out of the blue, which is essentially what I want a girlfriend to do, but no they are never good enough for me.

It really is true that we want what we can't have. I love the chase, then I lose interest. There are a few girls right now who have been showing interest in me, but I can't tell if they really care about me or if they just want to have me around as boyfriend. I guess I wouldn't mind having some friends with benefits/casual flings, but I don't want to get emotionally attached if that's all they are.

I have gone on two dates recently, both with the same girl. She is very nice, has a good personality, and is pretty cute. She treats me like a prince. I'm just not feeling it though. There were no first date sparks or feelings of like like. I kinda feel like I'm telling myself to be into the girl because I'm very picky when it comes to dating. But why should I force something when the feelings aren't there?

I know the girl is definitely into me. She mentions future dates and texts me almost everyday. I have not been the one to text first and I don't say much to her, which is unlike me. I am usually the first to text a girl I like and I've even done the double text if I don't get a response. My face lights up when the girl I like texts me first, but not when this girl texts me. I'm trying to tell myself to go with the flow and keep going on dates with her, but I don't think it's fair to drag her on when I could think of other girls I'd rather be out with.

There's nothing wrong with this girl. I can't think of specific reasons why I don't like her, but I just don't like her like her. Like I said before, there's no sparks--no connection, for me at least. I've felt more into girls I've made eye contact with while walking into a room than I feel with this girl.

Just because she's there and she's into me shouldn't mean I should settle. I'd rather continue living the single life until I find a girl who gives me butterflies. I want to find Ms. Right (don't we all?). I want to be pursued. I want to fall madly in love. I want to have a real relationship full of lust and love. I want to love and be loved. But I'm willing to be girlfriend-less until I feel this way on my own. I don't need a superficial relationship. It's like I'm going through the motions just to check "get a girlfriend" off my list.

What do you think I should do? How do you feel about having a girlfriend just to have one? If you were me, would you keep hanging out with this girl and pretending to feel something, or would you tell her you're just not that into her?

Anyway today I will be meeting her to give her something that she asked me to buy when I was at my hometown. I have been delaying the delivery till today.

No comments: