Taming or rather learning from the Pro Player NJZ

3rd Disember 2010 - Friday

It was a long day and I was burnt out when I got home later at night.

I had to wake up earlier than usual in order to have breakfast at R a j u ' s with NJZ. This could be our last time alone together, she had taught me what I need to learn and I am all ready to go.

She looked rather grumpy when I picked her up at her office at 7.35. (Well, I arrived at my office at 7.16 to punch in then went to pick her up). She told me that she is at the phase of her life that makes her confused and depressed, because she knows that she will be leaving soon, leaving the things that she love here and facing the uncertainties ahead in UK where she will start a new life, as a postgraduate student where the classes would be different ergo the lifestyle. Going back to UK where the weather is gloomy, where she knows that she would be depressed most of the time because deep down inside she would be lonely. Being 24, unmarried, a girl would always feel insecure and worry. I didn't really know what to say so I just listened. Because if i said i totally understand then i would be lying. Honestly, i don't know what a girl feel even though i listen to many girl songs, I didn't really scrutinize their lyric but i just like the music because it is easy on my ear.

She usually does not have breakfast, but she said, "you are an exception". She was also earlier that day than any other days, she drove so fast from home that her speed needle reached the 160km/h mark. We promised last night to meet up at 7.45 but we were both earlier than expected.

Her mood gradually improve as we talked while we eat roti telur under the tree without sun shine shining brightly but the air was fresh with no one really yet coming to the usually crowded place (she was here before with other man, that's why i claimed her as a pro player since she has been seeing so many guys, which i lost count). She opened up about her life, she was the eldest of the two siblings, her brother is pretty young at 8yrs old. She has another brother which is slightly older but he is from different mother but the same father as her and he is married with his wife pregnant half-way. She would become an auntie at almost the same time when I will become an uncle. I knew earlier that she is 1/8th Pakistani but through our conversation i know that she is 1/2 Chinese since her mother is a Chinese. She asked if she look Chinese, I don't think so I said because honestly she does not look like anyone that I can associate her with. She is unique.

She paid for the breakfast which I was reluctant at first to let her but she insisted so I let her. She bought few of that Indian donut like kueh to eat at the office. As usual when she got back to my car, she would want to look at my iPhone and browse the music that was stored inside. She made fun of my music collection playfully. She had trouble finding a song that she would settle down with.

When I sent her back to her office, her mood had improved dramatically. She was herself again and I told her that I like her company and vice versa she agreed with me.

She left me with a song by Macy Gray - I Try: I am not sure whether she wanted to convey any message or she just like to hear the slow melody.

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near