The heart is afraid, usually. Therefore, you will have to lie saying that, "All is well!" everything will be OK so that the heart will ease itself and do things that you are always afraid.
What's the worst that can happen? you should ask yourself. How bad can it be. Always think positive and everything will be OK. Trust yourself, BELIEVE in GOD and let whatever happens.
It is funny to think how on fate has decided that i finally watched the "3 Idiots" on Astro Fiesta channel 110 on New Year's Eve. How much I have reflected and learnt from the movie. A story about life of a genius who become a scientist that have 400 patents.
Don't always be chasing something. Be good with whatever you do and success will come looking for you.
I have been chasing too many things in 2010: dreams, targets and girls. Maybe it is time in 2011 to stop chasing and reflect. I will try to perfect myself in whatever I am doing. I am an engineer and I will continue to learn engineering. At the same as I have started taking MBA, I will continue be best at studying MBA. Focus on what I am doing and not trying to get everything at the same time.
Rushing is no good. Relax. Reflect. Try to perfect myself.
Even in relationship, I have been rushing. Been praying everyday for God to find me the best for me when I am not perfect. I will improve myself in 2011 so that I will be ready when the ONE for me appears. It may have already appears but I should not rush.
Take things slow. Get to know first. Fate will show me the ONE, eventually, inshaAllah.
I have been running. I will continue running to make sure I am fit and healthy.
I may have targeted this year to get married. Nonetheless, I should not be pressured or rush. Take it slow, all will go well, all will arrange itself and everything will work out, eventually.
Everything will be ready when I am ready.
So relax. All is well!
- tamaulipas
- Clearly my name is not Tamaulipas. Tamaulipas is one of the 31 states of Mexico and is located in the northeast. In Malay language, it can literally means 'do not want cockroach'. Basically, I am rambling about things on my mind.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Men are simple
Men are simple, they show affection when they are feeling it. It is hard to fake a feeling when you like somebody.
the first thing that men are attracted to is the appearance of the female. they will look from every angle before making any move. the body and the face must be satisfactory to the eyes which would then melt down to the heart.
men do not really think too hard or deep, they are impulsive and follow the voice inside the heart. they will make a move whenever there is an impulse to do so. but some men are shy and they need the push.
making the move is not that obvious. they may just stare at the female and see if she notices. sometimes men smile and many more times they like to act cool and pretend that they are not looking.
he will ask her to hang out. eat out. go somewhere where he can know get to know her. he may be acting not him. he is trying to think and make sense whether the female would be suitable for him. sometimes it is hard to make decision so he will ask for a second eat out...
men hate to write.
the first thing that men are attracted to is the appearance of the female. they will look from every angle before making any move. the body and the face must be satisfactory to the eyes which would then melt down to the heart.
men do not really think too hard or deep, they are impulsive and follow the voice inside the heart. they will make a move whenever there is an impulse to do so. but some men are shy and they need the push.
making the move is not that obvious. they may just stare at the female and see if she notices. sometimes men smile and many more times they like to act cool and pretend that they are not looking.
he will ask her to hang out. eat out. go somewhere where he can know get to know her. he may be acting not him. he is trying to think and make sense whether the female would be suitable for him. sometimes it is hard to make decision so he will ask for a second eat out...
men hate to write.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
the final lesson
although i went ranting about not wanting to initiate any more contact with NJZ, i could not. she taught me a lot but not about breaking up. i need to know one final lesson: how do you break up with girl without hurting her feeling. well, i finally got the answer today as I was confessing to her how much i love her and missing her more and more each day. well, she got my point and feel that i wanted to be more than just friend with her. so she told me how sweet i am, how we first knew each other, and that she like me for me and love hanging out with me because she is comfortable with me. but all she want is me being her friends, really good friends and whether i am ok with that. yes, why not, i am not surprised and am rather expecting her to say that.
take care, dear. : dear here is to clarify that she cares about me but doesn't like me in that way that she wanted to be more than friend or she would call me babe.
i have the highest suspicion that she still in love with her BF, HR. she went all over europe with him but i will never find out what happen to them. maybe they broke up or having a break with each other but she feel lonely since he's so far away perhaps and that she wrote a poem to him about wanting to be close with him like teeth and braces, shoes and laces or sentences without spaces.
so long dear.
take care, dear. : dear here is to clarify that she cares about me but doesn't like me in that way that she wanted to be more than friend or she would call me babe.
i have the highest suspicion that she still in love with her BF, HR. she went all over europe with him but i will never find out what happen to them. maybe they broke up or having a break with each other but she feel lonely since he's so far away perhaps and that she wrote a poem to him about wanting to be close with him like teeth and braces, shoes and laces or sentences without spaces.
so long dear.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Letting go
22 12 2010
exactly after a month since i first dated her. I believe it is time to let her off my mind. i am tired, losing interest on her. she is stressed out and acting erratically, giving out mix signals to me.
so i believe it is time that i do not initiate anymore contacts with her, beginning from this moment onwards.
this is the best i can do for her. let time decides. how, i do not know.
i will start new, aiming on new flowers. goodbye NJZ, you have served your purposes and taught me a lot. Thank you.
i believe the dream girl i always wanted is someone like mar lia or zee ha. simple yet elegant. easy going yet witty and funny. athletic and always looking fresh.
exactly after a month since i first dated her. I believe it is time to let her off my mind. i am tired, losing interest on her. she is stressed out and acting erratically, giving out mix signals to me.
so i believe it is time that i do not initiate anymore contacts with her, beginning from this moment onwards.
this is the best i can do for her. let time decides. how, i do not know.
i will start new, aiming on new flowers. goodbye NJZ, you have served your purposes and taught me a lot. Thank you.
i believe the dream girl i always wanted is someone like mar lia or zee ha. simple yet elegant. easy going yet witty and funny. athletic and always looking fresh.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Am I hooked or she is?
14 Dec 2010. Tuesday.
She has so much going on with her life right now. There are so many things she has to settle with. She became laptop-less as her mac died on her due to the rain, exposed as she carried her laptop in her bag while its raining. She is going early next month on a new journey of her life.
Yet, we were having lunch again. This time around, she picked me up, as she was leaving from her house to her office in the afternoon. While at it, we went around the city as she needed to buy some fruits and delivered it to someone. As she seems so bad with direction in the city, I insisted that we do her chores first before having lunch. With the help of my iphone, we managed to find the targeted house and delivered the promised inventory. Since time is of an essence, I decided that we should just have our lunch somewhere nearby.
She parked across the street and went through the row of shop lots. What seem to be an easy task suddenly became less easy since we were having some difficulties in making up our mind. I suggest that we tried dominos, but upon entering the restaurant I decided that I did not like the menu so we went out and I said sorry to the waiter. We ended up having lunch at a random malay restaurant with no name on the outside.
she ordered pattaya and ice tea while i ordered mee goreng mamak and hot lemon tea. she confessed that she is a conservative type, with traditional values and like chillies sauce with her meal. my mee was not anything like mamak style but rather more to malay style.
as usual i feel good and she seems to feel good after the meeting. she was only worried on how to get back to her office which she eventually managed to.
she dropped me somewhere convenience as i need to go somewhere first before heading back to my office. after that i called just to check up on her but she was in a meeting.
a call that touches her soul. and she was grateful. which she told me the next day.
She has so much going on with her life right now. There are so many things she has to settle with. She became laptop-less as her mac died on her due to the rain, exposed as she carried her laptop in her bag while its raining. She is going early next month on a new journey of her life.
Yet, we were having lunch again. This time around, she picked me up, as she was leaving from her house to her office in the afternoon. While at it, we went around the city as she needed to buy some fruits and delivered it to someone. As she seems so bad with direction in the city, I insisted that we do her chores first before having lunch. With the help of my iphone, we managed to find the targeted house and delivered the promised inventory. Since time is of an essence, I decided that we should just have our lunch somewhere nearby.
She parked across the street and went through the row of shop lots. What seem to be an easy task suddenly became less easy since we were having some difficulties in making up our mind. I suggest that we tried dominos, but upon entering the restaurant I decided that I did not like the menu so we went out and I said sorry to the waiter. We ended up having lunch at a random malay restaurant with no name on the outside.
she ordered pattaya and ice tea while i ordered mee goreng mamak and hot lemon tea. she confessed that she is a conservative type, with traditional values and like chillies sauce with her meal. my mee was not anything like mamak style but rather more to malay style.
as usual i feel good and she seems to feel good after the meeting. she was only worried on how to get back to her office which she eventually managed to.
she dropped me somewhere convenience as i need to go somewhere first before heading back to my office. after that i called just to check up on her but she was in a meeting.
a call that touches her soul. and she was grateful. which she told me the next day.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Taming or rather learning from the Pro Player NJZ
3rd Disember 2010 - Friday
It was a long day and I was burnt out when I got home later at night.
I had to wake up earlier than usual in order to have breakfast at R a j u ' s with NJZ. This could be our last time alone together, she had taught me what I need to learn and I am all ready to go.
She looked rather grumpy when I picked her up at her office at 7.35. (Well, I arrived at my office at 7.16 to punch in then went to pick her up). She told me that she is at the phase of her life that makes her confused and depressed, because she knows that she will be leaving soon, leaving the things that she love here and facing the uncertainties ahead in UK where she will start a new life, as a postgraduate student where the classes would be different ergo the lifestyle. Going back to UK where the weather is gloomy, where she knows that she would be depressed most of the time because deep down inside she would be lonely. Being 24, unmarried, a girl would always feel insecure and worry. I didn't really know what to say so I just listened. Because if i said i totally understand then i would be lying. Honestly, i don't know what a girl feel even though i listen to many girl songs, I didn't really scrutinize their lyric but i just like the music because it is easy on my ear.
She usually does not have breakfast, but she said, "you are an exception". She was also earlier that day than any other days, she drove so fast from home that her speed needle reached the 160km/h mark. We promised last night to meet up at 7.45 but we were both earlier than expected.
Her mood gradually improve as we talked while we eat roti telur under the tree without sun shine shining brightly but the air was fresh with no one really yet coming to the usually crowded place (she was here before with other man, that's why i claimed her as a pro player since she has been seeing so many guys, which i lost count). She opened up about her life, she was the eldest of the two siblings, her brother is pretty young at 8yrs old. She has another brother which is slightly older but he is from different mother but the same father as her and he is married with his wife pregnant half-way. She would become an auntie at almost the same time when I will become an uncle. I knew earlier that she is 1/8th Pakistani but through our conversation i know that she is 1/2 Chinese since her mother is a Chinese. She asked if she look Chinese, I don't think so I said because honestly she does not look like anyone that I can associate her with. She is unique.
She paid for the breakfast which I was reluctant at first to let her but she insisted so I let her. She bought few of that Indian donut like kueh to eat at the office. As usual when she got back to my car, she would want to look at my iPhone and browse the music that was stored inside. She made fun of my music collection playfully. She had trouble finding a song that she would settle down with.
When I sent her back to her office, her mood had improved dramatically. She was herself again and I told her that I like her company and vice versa she agreed with me.
She left me with a song by Macy Gray - I Try: I am not sure whether she wanted to convey any message or she just like to hear the slow melody.
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
It was a long day and I was burnt out when I got home later at night.
I had to wake up earlier than usual in order to have breakfast at R a j u ' s with NJZ. This could be our last time alone together, she had taught me what I need to learn and I am all ready to go.
She looked rather grumpy when I picked her up at her office at 7.35. (Well, I arrived at my office at 7.16 to punch in then went to pick her up). She told me that she is at the phase of her life that makes her confused and depressed, because she knows that she will be leaving soon, leaving the things that she love here and facing the uncertainties ahead in UK where she will start a new life, as a postgraduate student where the classes would be different ergo the lifestyle. Going back to UK where the weather is gloomy, where she knows that she would be depressed most of the time because deep down inside she would be lonely. Being 24, unmarried, a girl would always feel insecure and worry. I didn't really know what to say so I just listened. Because if i said i totally understand then i would be lying. Honestly, i don't know what a girl feel even though i listen to many girl songs, I didn't really scrutinize their lyric but i just like the music because it is easy on my ear.
She usually does not have breakfast, but she said, "you are an exception". She was also earlier that day than any other days, she drove so fast from home that her speed needle reached the 160km/h mark. We promised last night to meet up at 7.45 but we were both earlier than expected.
Her mood gradually improve as we talked while we eat roti telur under the tree without sun shine shining brightly but the air was fresh with no one really yet coming to the usually crowded place (she was here before with other man, that's why i claimed her as a pro player since she has been seeing so many guys, which i lost count). She opened up about her life, she was the eldest of the two siblings, her brother is pretty young at 8yrs old. She has another brother which is slightly older but he is from different mother but the same father as her and he is married with his wife pregnant half-way. She would become an auntie at almost the same time when I will become an uncle. I knew earlier that she is 1/8th Pakistani but through our conversation i know that she is 1/2 Chinese since her mother is a Chinese. She asked if she look Chinese, I don't think so I said because honestly she does not look like anyone that I can associate her with. She is unique.
She paid for the breakfast which I was reluctant at first to let her but she insisted so I let her. She bought few of that Indian donut like kueh to eat at the office. As usual when she got back to my car, she would want to look at my iPhone and browse the music that was stored inside. She made fun of my music collection playfully. She had trouble finding a song that she would settle down with.
When I sent her back to her office, her mood had improved dramatically. She was herself again and I told her that I like her company and vice versa she agreed with me.
She left me with a song by Macy Gray - I Try: I am not sure whether she wanted to convey any message or she just like to hear the slow melody.
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)