Initial Assessment of NJZ

Until to this date, I have not been able to actualize a one-on-one face-to-face heart-to-heart conversation with NJZ just to know her better. Our first arrangement to have lunch on Monday started with some delightful exchanges of messages on Saturday. First, it would coincide with another arrangement that she would have with another guy friend whom I have no interest of asking who he is. However, she had asked me to join them and reliving past experiences with SZZR, I accepted her extended invitation to have a threesome lunch at Subway taking into consideration the midpoint of the three participants involve in the arrangement. However, on Sunday alas she was just informed of an urgent meeting with someone with power at the office in the morning that she would afraid that would be dragged until lunch time and thus she asked my opinion of what to do and she did not want to "stand me up" and additionally her friend would also not coming (coincidentally convenient?). Thus she suggested that if I insisted, she would not mind having the lunch somewhere near to my place but despite that she was afraid that she would "stand me up" since she did not know when the meeting with someone of importance would finish. Taking into consideration many aspects of life and people of importance, I decided that she should not rush to have lunch with me or else I may regret if anything would happen to her. So I suggested that the lunch meeting to be put on hold until later dates that would be convenient to all parties involve.

Calling her has not been a delightful experience either. Either I could not listen to her clearly, cracking on the line or vice versa where she could not comprehend me properly. Is it due to her phone?, my phone?, the lines? or were she faking it so that we would not be talking on the phone perhaps? Thus, I do not feel like calling her again since she may perceive me as being stuttering due to not so smooth telephone line between us two. This does not happen when I call my sister or my family or my friends because I can talk as smoothly as possible without the line interfering.

I could not comprehend the feeling that we have, is it mutual or am I clapping with my hand that is not making any sound. But I really feel happy and excited when she replied to my messages/texts with all the :) emoticons that she put inside her texts.

As of now, I will carry it slow like pulling out a thread out of flour, the thread will not break and the flour will not spill over. Also, if I am trying too hard to get her, I should not be doing it at all. Because by trying too hard, we would be forcing something unnaturally. When something comes naturally then it would settle naturally and adhere firmly towards one another.

Perhaps I need a neutron to make the fusion work, between me and NJZ. And I am left to wonder, what would be the neutron?