Love at first sight

i have fallen in love with several girls, all due to love at first sight. but there is one girl that really capture my heart and i just could not get rid of her out of my heart.

it all started one fine winter in a book store. thousand of miles where i was living. i was visiting the place quite unfamiliar to me yet respectable due to its reputations. i was not paying attention to her at first until my friend recognize her as a malaysian. it was hard to believe because she just does not look like a malaysian.

it was lovely chatting with her. really lovely. watching her words coming out flawlessly with ease sounding like a beautiful melody. i know i will love her but what about her.

i let her met my other friends and let her show the way around the place which is where she was studying. ever since, i looked at her from behind with awe and delight.

after lunch she had to go as her parents were waiting for her.

ever since, i could not forget about her. i kept on dreaming about her, drooling.. days and night. i initiated conversation online but she did not seem very keen or that interested to converse with me. i grew impatient and bored with her lack of interest. so i stopped sending her any message.

but after some time i was again in love with her. i looked at her pictures dreamingly and send some more message. but again she replied but not as interested as i would expect her to be.

i tried to forget but still after some time i will again fall in love with her. i can not recall how many times i have fallen with her. yet i was never to be frank about my feelings for her. i was and am still to face the possibilities should i confess my feelings towards her. so all the conversation that i sent to her wold seem like regular exchange between distant friends. friends that doesn't got too deep in detail and will just chat about what is on the surface. i was never trying to go too deep.

the truth is i am afraid of rejection. but since she is the first lady to really be that long inside my heart, there must be a day i should be asking her out, getting to know more about her, especially that we are almost too close to each other. yes, now is the time.

if i want to be rejected, let it comes from the one that i really am thinking all the time. but i don't really what she has been up to. she has not been answering my last message and was not online for two weeks already. is she out of town or is this the way she is going to tell me that whe is not interested in me.

so i became melancholy. i dont really know what i should be thinking about her. i am going to let her go but with one last message to her. if she doesnt reply then that is it. ok chao.