Unexpected love

It seems that I always end my year with watching movies. Last year I ended the year watching 3 Idiots, an Indian movie about life and ambitions. Well, this year, I just finished watching two movies back to back, both American entitled Just Go It (which was hilarious, Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston were damn funny!!!) and Life As We Know It (Holly and Messer had to take care of orphaned Sophie).

Both movies ended with the discovery of true love out of the ordinary life. They were forced to foster their true unexpected love due to extenuating circumstances.

I am ending this year failing my KPI to find love. It may have been a blessing in disguise. It is in year 2012 that I would be focusing to find true love and propose someone into marriage.

Btw, I did not manage to see neither MA nor FST. Perhaps next year. Here I come, babes!!

A day and a night before 2012

Tomorrow would be the last day of 2011. I would like to take this moment to reflect on things I have done this year.

I went to Singapore for the very first time in my life. Twice. Once during the Chinese New Year which was in February and the second one in November. One with my own money for holiday and the other was fully paid by my boss Mr LOOKS, well of course through the company. Singapore is different from Malaysia. Somehow it is more structured, organized and modern from KL.

I got a nephew. A girl. Born just few days before my birthday. I guessed she was my birthday gift for the year. Her name means The Clever Princess. I went to Muar on the very day she was born. In fact, I was the first to see her among the other family members.

I was rotated within the department. In fact there were movements inside the division. Some are promoted and some moved laterally.

I sent a simple letter on 1.1.11 to NJZ which she was touched. Then a postcard while I was in Singapore. I sent a postcard too to my family but it failed to arrive. She tried to send me postcard, but it never arrived. I tried to send her another small note, but it also never arrived. Then she came back in May but I didn't get to talk to her. I was frustrated since she never wanted to return my calls. Hence she lost me while I was at Langkawi. Again, the Langkawi trip was under the courtesy of Mr LOOKS.

I dated long long lost friend AA, it was the once and only time I got to see her. After that she refused to answer nor return my calls. I lost my hope thus she lost me at the second set of attempts to reach her. I let her go to her wonderland.

I did however managed to meet and date MA, she is young and fun. She has high expectation for her future. She will continue her studies next year to a rather far far land. She has the potential to be my one and only wife. Time will tell.

I managed to take four classes last semester. It made me really really busy. I had no weekends. Then my family came for school holidays. My schedule was so tight that my only interactions is with my family, my co-workers and my classmates, not my other friends. I failed to show up to various events which fall on weekends. My MBA is almost over. I am left with one more class to take. Estimated completion date is sometime in March. Then the graduation ceremony will be held sometime in October. I am now eyeing for another Masters Degree in the UK. Chevening just opened up the application for sponsorship.

A day before my last final exam, I danced on the same stage as Atilia and her band after being interviewed by Linda Onn. I believed that I performed poorly on the final exam as my mind wandered still on the event of the other night.

It was during the last semester that I got rather close with FST. She sat next to me in almost all the classes that she had with me. I tested her and I believed that she had crush on me. I am going to call her tomorrow, which I had indicated earlier to her, to arrange for a meet up. It has been really a while since we meet. Tomorrow too, I may be seeing MA again at a wedding of our mutual friends. I had promised Eddy to go with him. I'll call him first then FST to arrange for the meetings.

Many of my friends got married. I lost count. And I am becoming lazier to give a damn about showing up for the weddings. I am yet to find someone to marry next year. MA is unavailable since she will be going to further her study. FST may be available. I will see how compatible we are when I meet her tomorrow or Sundays. I need to make a call, fast.

My beautiful mind

There are times when I feel strongly about doing something but when the time comes for implementing it, I am reluctant. Perhaps I am thinking too much, objecting ideas that were once brilliant. Mind play. My mind is beautiful. It is as if there are many people inside my head. One people would suggest me do something, but then there are many more objecting it. However there are times when the majority agreed on suggestions. Perhaps this is what we called the conscious mind.

The conscious mind acts like an ideal working government. There are oppositions as well as backbenchers who support the initial suggestion made by the prime minister. Then there are debates on the initial ideas, until a decision is made on whether the suggestion would be approved or rejected. The body will then act accordingly.

Impressive those who can make decision so quickly, such as footballers, badminton players and other athletes who competes with other people. They are in my opinion the most brilliant people in the world. It is as if their CPU i.e. brain processing speed is much faster than others.

Looking at another perspective, professors and other geniuses of the same department, are also brilliant in their mind. They have the stamina to focus and think at a problem for so long until they find the solutions. Amazing.

Always looking for new challenges

Would it be very bad to pretend asleep when you're not. To pretend that you're not home when people are calling your name outside. But I am trying to abstain food as hard as I can. Perception is what matters most. If you can create the atmosphere of feel good. There shouldn't be practically a calamity of coming back to earth.

I always fall into the trap of judging a book by its cover. I have learnt that some books with interesting cover may not be interesting at all. Likewise, some books which seems dusty, uninteresting are actually very captivating with knowledge beyond boundaries. I am trying to be open minded now, approaching all types of books, reading them and trying to know them personally. Only then will I be able to make knowledgeable decision about things which are in reality the most important thing in my life.

There are many choices when buying a car. The best thing to do is to test drive them all. Some dealers are friendly and will take the extra mile to make you feel good. Some are just blatantly stupid to ignore you while they know that we are potential buyers!

The experiment starts now

I am making an experiment to see the behaviour of people towards beauty. Can beauty alone attracts people, man especially? Well, the hypothesis is that we will see few request in the coming days. How will they get connected? Through words of mouth of course.

First day of Ramadan in Year 2011

Hello world. It has been really a while since I fast. To really really fast is not to eat and drink from dawn to dusk. For a muslim, the dawn is marked by the azan (the call for prayer) of subuh prayer. It is not obligatory but strongly encouraged to eat just before the dawn and stop 10 minutes before the azan, sort of like a breakfast to prepare the body for the journey ahead. Then, the dusk, when the breaking of fast is permitted when the azan for maghrib is being called. Depending on where you are in the world, the duration of fasting may vary from place to place. As such, at any time of the day in the world, azan can be heard somewhere in the world, due to timing difference from one place to another.

Today, in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, the beginning of fasting, as mentioned is during the azan of subuh, which happened today at 5.51 am. And the breaking of fast will be during the azan of maghrib which will occur at 7.30 pm. Therefore, today I will be fasting for 13 hours and 45 minutes, since I stop eating before dawn, at 5.45 am, i.e. few minutes before the azan of subuh. The practice to eat before dawn that I am encourage to do is called "sahur". While the practice of breaking the fast is called iftar. Many of the unfamiliar terms mentioned is in Arabic words, with slightly different spelling as compared to other writings.

It is almost half past six in the evening. I am alone at the back of the office waiting for iftar. I am planning to break the fast at the nearby mosque which at times like this prepare food for people like me. I am not feeling hungry typing. Just now when everyone was here, it has been a mixed feeling. Talking and laughing has resulted in slight realization of hungriness and thirstiness.

I am one man without anyone waiting for me at home at this moment. My parents is overseas while my sister is 3 hours drive from here. She is married with one daugther. I am always with one mission to find a wife, for the rest of my life.

eventful week? perhaps

the week has not ended but yet so many events i'd like to remember

1-went to the match msia vs singapore at bukit jalil last night. msia lost in aggregate while scoring 1-1.

2-last Wednesday when there are so few people at the office, went to a mini date with zeeeha. sth i've been always dreaming of. we went to jalan hang jebat.

3-tonight resting

4-tomorrow will eat lunch and run at night. shapely run.

5-sunday for first taraweeh.

BERSIH Yet so dirty

when the people of Thailand decided to go protesting by wearing yellow and red t-shirts, they collided and many stupid things happened. people got killed and many more were injured.

Yesterday, 9 July. some Malaysians were trying to emulate what had happened in Thailand. Luckily, the police was quick to act. They managed to contain the two groups or else the unthinkable would happened. The yellow shirts were the BERSIH group while the red shirts were the PATRIOT led by Khairy Jamaluddin (KJ). Why would he advocate such an act of having another group wearing the red shirts? The simple logic is that when two groups of different ideology collided, in the tension of so many people, marching down the street, under the scorching sun, the two groups will bite each other off! And KJ being as stupid as he is, organized a coalition wearing red shirt to tell the world that there those who are against the yellow group, BERSIH.

I am against BERSIH. There are many people who are not with BERSIH. I am for a clean election but I do not conform to the way they were planning the world that they want a clean election. There are many other ways to communicate their ideas, peacefully!

So those who are not with BERSIH will not join them, marching down the road! Thus KJ need not show the world by organizing another ground to demonstrate on the street. Just stay away from BERSIH and people will know that you are not with BERSIH.

Truth be told, BERSIH is not really what it seems to be. It is not just a demonstration to demand for clean election. Do you think that it is so simple. There are more to see behind all the reasons. It may be just a decoy for something greater. Something greater for some people but the rest of the demonstrator are just tools that are being used.

Most people are puppet for few people who knows the greater agenda.

Think about it.

BERSIH, it is not just cleaning up. There are bigger plans which I and normal you will not know about. Only some will know, those who are behind it all.

The puppet master - the controller of all puppets.

It could be anyone, US, Jews, CIA, etc. who knows.!

Salary at PETRONAS

Truth be i told, there a lot of reasons to be working at PETRONAS. its working condition is not as different as any other companies in Malaysia. Yet, the starting salary is RM 4000 for fresh graduate and additional 500 if you have the critical technical competencies. Its medical benefit is among the easiest to use with the widest coverage. You'll be given an AIG insurance card which can be used at almost all clinics. Truth be told, you can always negotiate your salary if you have the edge to do so. Try to be different and stand out.

Truth be told, you'll be lucky if you've a wife working for PETRONAS, because the medical benefits also cover the husband, unlike most companies. Yet PETRONAS has the policy that husband and wive should not be PETRONAS employees. If you do decide to get married, when you are both PETRONAS's employees, you will be transferred so far away unimaginable. So you can safely assumed that the chances are high to find single ladies at PETRONAS.

p/s: I am not working for PETRONAS nor does having any affiliate. I did try to become a PETRONAS scholar but was rejected at the earliest stage. Nevertheless, I am a loyal PETRONAS petrol user.

Permanent Head Damage (PhD)

It has been a while since I last saw or interact with her. It was last sunday while I was running an errand at a mall when I saw somewhat a familiar face. She was sitting down at a restaurant, not waiting for anyone but the waiter. I approached her and asked, "hey, how was studying?" "dude! i never thought PhD is sooo hard! I am burning my brain out!" Then she held her plate to me, "dude, you wanna eat this?"




"whoa," i said, "take it easy, babe!"


suddenly..


she threw her fork at me. with such a force that it penetrated into my cheek! i was bleeding profusely.. unable to keep my consciousness, i fell onto the floor.

i was dead for few hours before they surged me with the highest voltage possible.

thank God I do not suffer any permanent injury but she.. she suffer permanent head damage while attempting her PhD.



=P

Life and planning ahead

Plan changes, because you never know what will happen tomorrow.
I always change my plan. I change when I acquire more knowledge. When you have more information, you can plan better. The better you plan, the more ready you are to face the challenge in the future. With proper planning, you can even be prepared for something unexpected. You are calm when faced with surprises. Because in your planning you have not one way of going forward, but you are prepared with options for different scenarios. You will never be accused of over-planning. But let's not deter any progress of moving forward by thinking too much. Thinking too much that you are afraid stepping forward because you are trying to visualize all possibilities of stepping forward and not stepping forward. So let us not be confused with "planning" and "thinking too much". Yes, planning need some thinking but not to the extend you are procrastinating everything. You have to be quick in making scenarios and let some thoughts go away.

I am an engineer. I plan to become an engineer since I was a student at secondary school. I ruled out medic since I have never been comfortable with bloods and cutting anything that is living (or even some dead animal such as frog). I never have the complete information of what I can be when I grow. All I can think of is that I want to build things and so I must become an engineer. Yet even when engineers build things, they are not usually doing something spectacular, most engineers are just designing based on available designs. Well, I think i am saying something wrong, so let's not continue about what engineer is doing.

When I was an engineering student, I realized that all the theories being taught are too complicated. Most of us end up memorizing rather than understanding.

Wait.. I am digressing..

What I wanna is say that plan can change. It's ok to steer into different direction when you gain more knowledge. Life is about learning. You may not know what you really want to do in life. But it's ok. Life is about trying. If you do not try then you will never know. You may not want to believe everything people tell you. What they experience may be totally different from your own experience.

I am now an engineer but now I am doing an MBA. I am interested with financial engineering. Learning how money is being manipulated by the west. Perhaps, I would like to do a PhD in Financial Engineering, win a Nobel prize for creating a formula that can eradicate interest in common financial instruments. I would like to be writing at the wall street journal. Perhaps, I should begin writing there first before applying for PhD at a prestigious university in UK or US. After all they are the king of manipulators.. creating money out of nothing.

Interest rate to slow down the economy

from the depth of my mind, the mind speculates.

economy: the interest rates are going up, meaning that the cost of borrowing will increase, making purchases of things less affordable. this is a sign that the central bank is applying a slight force to slow down the economy. this is done to ensure that inflation would not take place as too many people afford to buy houses, cars and other things while, at the same time encouraging people to save money. (as the cost of borrowing increases, so does the profit from saving money in the bank). people who deposit money in the bank are technically the lender.

why is this happening? prices of things especially houses are going up too quickly because demand exceeds supply. and the gap between the demand and supply is growing at a fast rate.

will the bubble explodes? not in the near future. the central bank is taking the right decision to slow down inflation. i speculate that the interest rate will continue to increase eventually, as the demand for houses keep on increasing. with the help from banks, an average joe with a salary of RM 3000 can manage to buy a house amounting to RM 400,000. if no proper mechanism to screen affordability are in place, then even those who cannot afford to pay the monthly installment will be approved to buy a house beyond their means. causing the bubble to burst.

inflation is on the rise as the value of basic goods getting more expensive. the electricity tariff has just gone up. while the tariff hike does not introduce shock to consumers using less than RM 77 worth of electricity, they will eventually feel the effect through the increase of other products, as these commercial users of electricity will incur more cost due to tariff hike.

purchasing parity will go down. meaning that with the same amount of ringgit, you can buy less items that you used to do a while back. implying that the value of ringgit has gone down. so what is not being affected by inflation? GOLD. the same amount of gold can be used to buy a goat during the times of Prophet Muhammad SAW as you can do it today.

but the futures price of gold is lower than the spot market price of gold. why? because market expects that the supply of gold cannot be promised in the future. gold is becoming too valuable in the future that people believe that no price today can guarantee the delivery of gold.

Ahhh how time flies.

nowadays, the time feels shorter and shorter each day. today i tried to fill in my claim form but to no avail. the day ended without me doing anything really. just talking with friends, surfing the web and read some articles. the banging sound in the building due to some construction works being done also inside the building exaggerate my unwillingness to do any work, not forgetting Monday blues.

how time flies. only 4 classes left this semester.

i really don't know how to approach her. i don't want to lose her..

the more I see it the more resemblance I am feeling

OMG. i am feeling more confidence of looking at her. but never yet a word was spoken. somehow the lips are glued together whenever I was passing through.

She's not really photogenic. In real life she is way more beautiful. Her resemblance to Nora Elena is taking more and more shape every time I look at her.

Timing is vital. I don't want to make an awkward moment by teasing her.

Perhaps next week will be something to look forward too. It's midterm exam and I will be sitting at the very back so I can look at her. =D

I won't call back, NJZ.

I am not sorry not to call back.
I think I know too well what you want to say.
You want to say sorry you did not call back.
You want to say you're overwhelmed.
You want to say how you have been too busy.
You want to say how much you want to talk to me.
You want to say that you regret not doing this and that.
But you lost me at Langkawi.
So I guess that would be your last call.
And I won't be available for you.
For the eternity that I am seeing.
So long and have fun there.

Seizure I saw

Yesterday, Monday 16 May 2011. The day I that I thought I could relax and go fun n easy. Nonetheless, the morning started with urgent meeting by Dato Azman and I had to take the minutes. It was a quick meeting discussing updates on such events that are happening today. Dato Azman was on leave so he left immediately after the meeting. I, had to gather the strength to venture for the rest of the day. Well, I finished the minutes and sent to the PA of Dato Azman for endorsement.

Well the went quite normal as any other working day until around 4.20 pm. I went a colleague place to chit chat as it is more than 4 pm and I need some refreshment from mundane work. So there he was sitting at his place typing on his keyboard but i was not really looking at him as someone else appeared from the pantry that i needed to apologized since i missed her wedding invitation. suddenly i heard my friend/colleague producing a strange sound, some sort of hissing sound from him like gasping for air straight into his lung. I looked at him aghast, he was having spasm, his hand, his face were experiencing sudden contraction, his eyes were rolling up, his jaw was jerking looking as if he was experiencing pain but he was not responding to my talking, suddenly he was pushed backwards, sort of standing up due to his leg stretching out pushing him away, backwards, against the cubicle wall, against the chair, he was falling down, sliding smoothly onto the floor and yet he was still spasming.

He was on the floor unconscious, yet his body was stiff, he was not responding to my shouting, so I panicked and asked for help, two ladies that I was talking to shouted for help. It was a panic mode for everyone, people were running, rushing to his cubicle. Another lady called the ambulance. Few men went to his side, asking for water and then wiped his face with water. They called his name and he started to regain consciousness, acknowledging the people around him.

The medical team arrived. Took his blood pressure which was high at 160. By then he was awake, the ambulance was outside. The medical team asked whether he had experience seizure before, so I called his brother and asked, while telling him what happened. So this was his first time having seizure.

We took him to the ambulance. He tried to walk on his own, asking for his stuff i.e. glasses, phone and wallet. But he was not fully himself, he seemed lost, not knowing what had happened, he was not walking straight, he looked dizzy so we put him on a chair - normal office chair with wheel - and pushed him to the ambulance.

We took him to the nearest hospital which is only few minute drive. His brother managed to arrived at the hospital at the same time we arrived at the hospital. He was admitted to the emergency room. He was awake and dumbfounded. He did not remember anything since 4 pm. The last thing he remembered was walking towards the office, but did not remember that he had ever entered the office or sat in his cubicle.

The doctors are still figuring out what's wrong with him. They confirmed that his brain is ok. I suspected that he did not have enough rest. Too tired. Just too tired. Like a computer that has been running for so long that it hang. Then it restarted. Ergo, explaining the few minutes of his lost memory. Just like a computer that hang, some unsaved work become lost forever.

The long distance relationship that did not work

For few months, NJZ and me has been trying with no avail to nurture a long distance relationship. Before that, we manged to get together for few times for couple months before she flew off to continue her study. The main reason I believe is that none of us are able to satisfy each other solely with communication other than face to face. When you are far away and all you can hear is the voice and see a face but it not the same as being together physically. Worst is communication through email or chatting because what we want to say is always being misinterpreted. Also, the technology that I used is not on far to established a pure satisfaction in terms of intimacy. We grew tired of not being able to express ourselves freely. We grew tired of having misinterpretation. We grew tired of not having the other person not online when one person was excited to talk or to communicate. The tiredness grew into frustration. I sent her a note which arrived succesfully. My postcard also managed to reach her safely. But her postcard to me never arrived to me till today. She was frustrated and depressed. I did not know how to assure her, to make the postcard arrive to me. Perhaps I failed to show how much care through words that was written or through words that came through my mouth. I only wish that I can be with her and hug her tightly or just listening while looking at her eyes.

the most important in a relationship that i discover is the importance of giving love (by man) and receiving love (by woman). since that is something i can't keep up with due to technology limitation, time differences, etc. the relationship has to end, hopefully with grace by both sides.

Nudibranch = Love

The picture is taken from http://science-by-paddy.blogspot.com/2008/05/nudibranchs.html

and also if you would like to read more about that beautiful creature, do surf on the above website.

the concept of nudibranch of love has been introduced to me by my first love, SZZR. right now i am looking for love. love that can light up the darkness inside the heart. love that can complete the incomplete feeling of myself. something is missing deep down inside my heart, the last puzzle, the piece that i am looking for. next week kate middleton will officially become the princess of England. The royal wedding will be shown live at CNN this friday.

not that it matters to me. i can care less if anyone wants to marry anyone else right now. the feeling of numbness inside me can only be cured if i can marry someone i can truly love, with my dearest heart. i am ready to assume the responsibility of a perfect lover. however, i am still searching. no girl right now has been given the key to the innermost side of my heart. it is still locked. NJZ has only managed to reach the garden. so does SZZR while SZM were only standing at the driveway going to the garden. the door is still locked and i hope to open it anytime.

i am looking for love with an open heart, yet the innermost side of my heart is still locked. irony. i hate to have the thought of waiting for love that may never exist so i will move to fast lane with smarttag at my hand.

i am nudibranch. sliding through the bottommost part of the ocean. looking at people from underneath it all. so that i can see with greater perspective. i have ruled out several criteria because i know it will never work with me and i need to keep on reminding myself that it will never work, don't even bother to try:
1. girls older than me
2. girls with dark complexion
3. girls who are overweight
4. girls who are too short
5. girls that are too fragile, too thin
6. girls with very soft voice that i have serious problem listening to her
7. girls who are passive
8. girls who smoke
9. girls that are too sexy, showing her sexy pictures on the net
10. girls with angry face
11. girls who are scary
12. girls with love handles that are too obvious
13. girls who smell bad
14. girls with too obvious mole on her face
15. hairy girls
16. passive girls
17. girls that laugh too loudly and too much

What Women Look in Man

I have been going through several stages in relationship and been seeing some pattern on all girls. Well, I do spent many of my times observing the behavior of people especially of the opposite sex, i.e. to me is female. Sometimes, I do things out of norms to see reactions of females to some sort of male behavior. No matter how confidence a female can be, deep down inside they are looking for a male companion who will make plan for them. Female loves it when male does all the planning, at times when she can relax and let all things flow. She want it to be made special, not having to decide and worry about things.

Undeniably, a male that does the planning for a female have the three main attributes:
1. confidence
2. purposeful
3. responsible

Girl/Lady/Woman loves it when man have all the three attributes. It is up to you to imagine why female looks for the three items above.

La Tahzan - Don't be sad (do not be bothered)

it is no use to be annoyed or be sad or be mad or be jealous when AHA call her sayang. do remember the phrase ignorance is a bliss. the more you don't know the less you know about the truth that may hurt or send some uneasiness towards the feelings. if nothing unknown then what is known remains as it is as if nothing really happen and the thought that you have is as you imagine.

so let's get on with the original plan ignoring the calling of sayang by AHA. then I will go by the original plan, that is to let this thing move as it is now until november this year. after we will move on to the next target. but while at it we or rather I should be always on surveillance in order to identify the next best thing.

class will be starting in another two weeks which I hope I will meet new people new faces that are interesting and lovely experience awaits.

so don't bother, if it is meant to be then it will mean to be. so nothing changes.

I am hungry because I work a lot (Newborn)

There is a relationship between the metabolism rate of your body and the amount of food you eat and the outcome of your appearance. Some people I know will stay skinny even though they eat a lot. While some are sitting on a bench not eating, doing nothing but are fat. I eat when I am hungry. I am hungry every 3 to 4 hours. I am fat now because I follow my instinct religiously.

I have been to places yesterday.

Sepang - Muar - Ampang : a new family member was born : 2 April 2011.

Her name means a clever queen. She had trouble yesterday to breast feed. She's so small and fragile. Weighing 2.6 kg when she was conceived.

So I bought ticket today for mom to come here next week. While commemorating my birthday. When the real purpose of course is to look at her first grandchild.

So my sister was alone at the ward last night because no one is allowed to stay with her after 7.30 pm.

But today everything's ok. She's discharged and resting at home.

Nuclear Power Plant Will Evolve

In reality, nothing is safe. Driving a car to work may result in traffic accident. Walking down the street may result in being mobbed or hit by a vehicle. Eating may result in indigestion or stomachache. Jumping my cause the ankle to strain. Shouting may cause the voice to disappear. All things may lead to some sort of negative result if not being done properly or in a control manner. However, being a rational a person may always be, the above incident may not happen always, maybe sometimes.

The more dangerous actions or things are perceived as, the more careful the handling will be done. We are less careful when doing something that we do everyday like walking down the street. Sometimes we are too carefree that we do not look left and right when crossing the road. Oftentimes, we do not look down while walking assuming the roads are all even when in reality there could be a manhole being left open or nail sticking out waiting to pierce through our feet. Or driving a car, when are too used to it, we do not even wear the seatbelt. However we are more careful when doing things that we perceived as dangerous or risky such as bungee jumping. We want to make sure that the harness are tight and people who are maintaining the equipments are there to check on the equipments that you are wearing. Sometimes we insist that our equipments are being check twice or more times.

We are all well aware that nuclear bomb is dangerous, catastrophic. It can wipe out the whole city, Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Nuclear power plant can be dangerous, like Chernobyl, it turned an industrial city in Soviet Union to become a dead city with no activity that light up the city. We have heard about the latest incident in Japan, when the tsunami and the great earthquake hit Japan on the memorable Friday noon of 11-3-2011. Today we are looking at the catastrophic events relating the nuclear power plants of Fukushima Daichi. It was design for 6.3 Richter earthquake, yet all safety features managed to halt the reaction when the 9.0 Richter earthquake started to tremble the city of Sendai. It was supposed to be a smooth shutdown of the nuclear power plant had it not been for the unpredictable tsunami. The cooling system failed when the 13 feet tsunami wipe out all backup power source, be it the diesel generator, mobile generator, the power grid and the batteries. Due to the failure of the cooling system, the reactor overheated, even though the nuclear reaction has been stopped or at least left to the bare minimum. The reactor continue to heat and causes steam built-up inside the reactor. The super hot steam coupled with unknown reaction (to me) produces hydrogen, lots of hydrogen which can explode easily. The reactor building exploded due to the hydrogen built-up.

The four units are all affected due to overheating. The explosions coupled with tsunami impact and continual tremor of the earthquake, caused cracks in the containment of the radioactive material which resulted in radioactive leakage. A radius of 20km affecting more than 200,000 people were being evacuated. It is horrendous and heart touching.

The risk of having a nuclear power plant is so great that the design is improving with safety as the main priority. The accident in Fukushima will initiate more robustness in the design. Therefore we can expect the nuclear plant in the future to be stronger, much stronger, able to withhold all knowns hazards, be it fire, fire crashing, etc. Of course, the cost of building it will be higher, but safety is not something we can take for granted.

Energy Security: The importance of strategic Mix with NUCLEAR

Energy security is:

From the demand side i.e. the consumers: to have energy/electricity at all time. they demand that whenever they switch on the plug, electricity will flow.

From the supply side: to be able to supply electricity at all time to all consumers.

How?
In order to be able to supply electricity, fuel is needed to generate electricity.

Gas/Coal/Oil/Biofuel is burnt to boil water then to produce steam that moves the turbines. The moving turbine will produce electricity through electromagnetic conversion. Think of dynamo, dynamo can be found usually in bike with lamp. You will cycle the wheel, the bike will move while moving the rotor in dynamo which will produce electricity to light up the lamp.

Similarly, wind turbine need wind to move the turbine that produces electricity, while hydro need water to move the turbine.

In a nuclear power plant, the nuclear reaction will produce heat that will boil the water to produce steam which will then move the turbine.

In a nutshell, many sources of electricity uses turbine to generate electricity.

It is different with solar power panel, which need the sunlight to initiate reaction within the semiconductor that will produce electricity without the need of turbine.

However, let's move back to the main topic. ENERGY SECURITY.

In general, you need something to produce electricity. You cannot rely on just one source of electricity generation. What if that one source of electricity is not available?

Most fuels need to be replenish at once when there are burnt. Coal needed to be supplied constantly in order for the power plant to continue producing electricity. Similarly, gas, oil, biofuels, water, wind and sunshine need to be available at all time if you want to produce electricity at all time. But we know that would not happen at all time. Sun will not shine at night or when it is raining or when it is cloudy. Wind will not blow at all time. Gas would not available if there is problem at gas terminal or at the gas pipelines. Coal will not be available if there problems at the mines or if the ship that delivers coal does not arrive. Oil cannot be delivered without using road tankers or ship tankers.

What about nuclear power plant? The fuel that it uses can last for 18 to 24 months without replenishment. Thus, once you put the fuel in day 1, you can be rest assured that power/electricity will continue to be generated for 18 months or until day 540 or longer depending on the design.

This is energy security! with nuclear as part of the energy mix!

Trust me, that gas/coal/oil that we have today are subjected to constant supply, without which, there will not be constant supply of electricity.

Japan Quake Aftermath : Nuclear Tragedy?

This is the biggest ever earthquake ever happened in Japan.

Unpredictable.

There is no way the design of nuclear power plants can cater for something beyond probability. It is a sign from God through nature that we will be looking at something even bigger, even worse and beyond our predictions.

Why the world is worry about nuclear plants rather than other plants generating electricity? Why the focus on the nuclear power plant? Simply because any defect in the nuclear safety design can lead to disaster through radioactivity.

The nuclear plant will not explode like a nuclear bomb. Period. The explosions that happen are due to immerse pressure through heat and air inside the containment. The explosions are small in nature, similar to pops of balloons.

The nuclear plant will not explode like a nuclear bomb. Period. The fuel inside the nuclear plants are not concentrated enough to produce bomb-like explosions. The worst that can happen through the fuel is being too hot and melt which may cause leakage to the containment building.

The world are looking. Nuclear committee please do something to contain the radioactivity. Or else the nuclear renaissance will come to complete halt.

The body clock and Dreams

I have noticed with the greatest interest that I would wake up exactly 6 hours after I laid asleep. However, I will often go back to sleep until my alarm sing. Last night I went to bed at around ten and woke up around four in the morning just to realize that it was only four and I did not feel like getting up, but it was cold last night thus I switched off the fan and looked for my blanket which was lying at the side of the bed on the floor. Later, I would wake up when my phone started singing. It was a typical night just like any other night, where I would be waking up exactly 6 hours after I felt asleep and went back to sleep again. I remember if I went to sleep around 3 am in the morning, I would wake up exactly after 6 hours i.e. at nine in the morning, no matter what happen or how loud my phone is singing. The only time I would be able to wake up if only and only if someone else would wake me up like my father or my mom or whoever else.

the night before last night, I had the most wonderful dream of bringing NJZ to see my family and I was happy holding her while walking her down the aisle. =DD

forte 2.0 so far

i have been driving my forte 2.0 since July 2010. The ride has been smooth with insignificant complaints. the pickup is good since it is a 2000cc car, fast to accelerate and able to move around quickly without having to press hard on the gas pedal. the fuel consumption may be on the higher side. On highway it can go at around 8.5 liter per 100km and at full city driving it can go up to 11 liter per 100km. usually, at any normal days, i would fill up my car to its fullest capacity, usually at around 45 liters, this 45 liters of fuel can usually go for as far as 400-500 km depending on the driving style and traffic condition. usually for my commute going to and from work and somewhere in the city, the full tank of 45 liters usually go to around 400km. but my driving style is bad for fuel economy, as i like to press hard on the gas pedal, to feel the exhilaration of driving the forte.

sometimes when travelling down on uneven road, i can hear the annoying rattle sound coming somewhere from the seat belt hook of the passenger and sometimes, from the driver side. it can go unnoticeable but the big ear of mine can sense those annoying rattle sound.

usually, after driving, after switching off the engine, i can hear cranking sound, like metal compressing, coming from the engine, people in the forums say that it is ok and nothing to worry about. but still, it is annoying to hear sounds coming from the car.

sound proofing is so so. not so good and it gets rather noisy when it is raining heavily and going over uneven road. but the engine is quiet. when cruising on the road, normally you would not be able to sense the engine but the friction between the roads and tires spoil the tranquility.

sound system is good. i can feel immerse in the music and songs i am listening to. however, the radio quality somehow is not quite up to crystal clear sound. is it the car or is the radio station itself? i am not as i would always be listening from my ipod connected directly to the forte.

i like white color of my car. but i hate it when it gets dirty so easily. sometimes dirts are hard to get off / to scrap off.

the car does not feel cheap from the inside. it feels strong and robust. i feel safe driving it. with all the airbags to guarantee my safety.

Last day of Feb - what am I?

it is not funny to think of me having a break despite the busyness at the office today. i am away again, unreachable at the comfort of my home in kuching. letting go of everything and freeing my mind of the undesirable thoughts of having to work. the work that i am doing, i am still the lowest of the lowest in the hierarchy. i figure that it is time now i delegate more eventhough i am without the power to do so.

let's start by asking ID to do the 1Data. maybe letting her in charge.

let's focus on my own dream. i dream to become the gabenor of Bank Negara, signing all the money as it is being design. looking at the macro economy of the world.

yes, i figure that I will focus my attention of becoming a financial know-how. I want to learn about the money, why it has value and why the values of money are different from each country. why are we all accepting a dollar bill? why the value changes?

what create a supply? demand.
what create a value? demand.
if people demand me, am i valuable.

creating a value in me, i have to create a demand out of me. making people need me and ultimately want me.

in order to be demanded, i have to create values that differentiate me from everyone else. what value am i creating?

i decided to be really good at the following:
- nuclear (on the surface - not the technical detail)
- finance (this i have yet to discover - i wanna be like tun daim - needed in times of need - during the crisis - knowing what's important - make you important)

That breakfast revisited

Since NJZ confessed that she misses that one breakfast that we had, i'd just want to list all things happen prior, during and after that:

1) it was her proposal to have breakfast, since she felt bad that she could not accept my lunch proposal that week

2) she called the night before saying that she was worried that i could not clock in at 8 which i said it would not matter when exactly i do clocking

3) we're both early

4) she was having bad mood, complaining about my car seat that was so reclined

5) i did not talk much during the drive since she was looking stress

6) we both ordered roti telur, teh tarik for me and warm water for her

7) she confessed that she don't do breakfast usually but in her words, "you're an exception"

8) her mood improve as we talked, she suggest molten rocks a solution to power generation, i said it was new technology and never heard of it. i made fun of the announcement by raju on the load speaker (which was in tamil/hindustan) that they are calling for me to get back to the office.

9) i made joke about the announcement everytime, and everytime she laughed

10) she insisted on paying for the meal which i reluctantly let her. i playfully suggest that she buy some kueh for her boss which she refused but she did buy some for herself.

11) she complained that my car was so dirty, i said that i just washed it but it was raining these few days and i have uncovered parking

12) she made fun of my choice in music while shuffling through my music collection in my iphone which then whe settled for "I Try" by Macy Gray

13) she said that maybe this would be our last time seeing each other which i asked why and went oooohhh aahhh

14) when we arrived at her office i told her that i like her company which she reciprocated

Perplexed still, I am

What would it mean when a girl said well done for being so sweet? and share with you a youtube link on a dutch couple who was being interviewed by a Holland TV station on when was the last time they had sex? did it even matter what she was thinking? maybe i am thinking too deep into this matter. maybe all she wished was to share some laughter. and proposed that we should go to Holland, totally. and she answered yes we should =DD. knowing girls i think maybe they have underlying meanings to whatever is being said. knowing boys, most of what we said came out as being spontaneous and without having particular meaning at all. not with girls because they so emotionally attached and i wonder if everything they said go more than they sound. she also said that she missed having breakfast with me when in reality we only had breakfast once. maybe that one breakfast that we had was the best memorable memory about me.

i called her and she picked up but she was not saying anything. just listening to me saying hello for numerous times, for 47 seconds to be exact. she emailed to ask if tried to call her. i asked why there was deafening silence on her side and she said she heard me. then she called me to say that she was rather busy but she just calling to let me hear her voice. later she called again to ask how i was and later i found out that she is skype-ing through her phone and she was not in her room but was outside visiting her old college. that explains several things. she was just listening because maybe she was with some people.

i guess maybe she was very similar to me. as if she was the female version of me, ergo her emotions are sometimes hard to comprehend by a mere man like me.

I hope I wasn't mean to NJZ

On a beautiful date of 11-1-11 I wrote a simple note to her which was sent later that evening. The stamp should cost RM1.50 for a 10 gram letter but I insisted to pay RM2 for the stamp. The note was so simple that it did not fill a whole A4 letter. I posted the note using an envelope which was meant for SZZR, now thanks to NJZ and I managed to completely eliminate the feeling I had for SZZR. SZM was not able to do that but NJZ did and I would be forever grateful to her.

Well, the letter or the note arrived 9 days later on 20-1-11 around noon her time and around 8 pm our time. NJZ seemed to be highly jubilant from the emails she sent to me. She sent two emails which I purposely did not reply instantaneously and she sent another to shout just my name the next morning which I delayed the reply until around noon my time or while she was sleeping supposedly at her time zone.

She called me that night while I was having class. The call was one-sided since I could hear her but she could not hear me. She called using skype thus the number was blocked. She emailed to say that her wifi connection was bad and I blatantly sent an email saying that UK has bad internet while US has good internet connection because they started the internet.

Am I mean? I hope not. We exchanged few emails arguing about that.

She called to say goodbye.

Last night, as I was fidgeting whether to call or not call and when to call, at night or in the morning, I felt twitching on my right eyelid thinking maybe someone dear is thinking of me. All of the sudden, my phone rang and it was her, NJZ. Wow, I took a deep breath and answered the call. I was happy to hear her voice and as usual she asked whether I was busy or not. No, I was sitting at home thinking about her. My real intention was not to call her at all and let her wonder where I was, just like what Amir Khan did in 3 idiots making everyone who cares search for him.

Well she said that I represent tenaga, and everything she would like to remember about tenaga. It was actually so sweet of her to be calling me. We talked for the longest duration in any phone calls that we had ever had.

She is leaving tonight, 2 hours after midnight. I am not planning to call her because by now and then, she would be busy doing all sorts of things thinkable to mankind when they're leaving. If I were to be in her shoes, I won't even carrying my phone, I will leave it with my parents because going overseas to study, I won't be using my the calling plan here of course. In fact, I only had my phone in the US for emergency. For everything else I rely on the internet since the speed is reliable and fast.

So perhaps, I will keep in touch with her later, some other times, when I feel like it. Till we meet again NJZ.